When I'm in a good emotional place I find it easy to look in the mirror and like what I see. Being able to do this has taken a considerable amount of persistent work on improving my self esteem and had been a key aspect of me falling in with. My true self. Yet there are still times when I look in the mirror and all I see are the flaws.
Throughout my childhood I didn't see my beauty because I didn't look like the images of "beauty" that as they were portrayed in the TV media. I didn't have long blonde hair, pink skin or blue eyes. How could I be beautiful if I didn't look like the women I watched every day?
When I began my quest to find and fall in love with my true self I didn't realise how disconnected from my body I was, I had no idea what that even meant. All I knew was that I didn't love myself and I needed learn who I was. I knew that I was attractive to men, but I couldn't see my beauty.
On one occasion, very early on in the quest, I was at a 5 rhythms dance and the woman I was dancing with said to me "you're so beautiful, I just hope one day you will see it." it struck me like bolt of lightening, even though I had been seeking my true self within, I wasn't connecting with with the outer me too. I needed to love all of me, not just focus on the inside, but also find a way to love what was on the outside. The me I showed to the world.
Although I've come a long way since that cold winters evening, and I usually recognise my beauty inside more than the outer manifestation of it, I still have bad days. A super effective practice I've been doing for years that really helps, is a simple mirror process. It's something I started doing early in my self love practice and is a process I still need to do every day.
This powerful practice has enabled me to see (and accept) my beauty, and helped me learn how to smile. It's an internal and external process rolled into one, which is why it's so effective yet super gentle. The bonus is that it takes just a few minutes each morning (or whenever you choose to practice the art of self love). I do it every morning after I've cleansed and toned my face:
- set your timer for 3-5 minutes
- put a squeeze of your favourite facial moisturising lotion on your hands and gently rub together
- sit or stand before a mirror in which you can easily see your whole face as one image (a mirror tile that reflects a broken image of you is no good - it's also bad feng shui)
- smile
- Breathe
- Keep smiling and breathing
- Gently moisturise your face while smiling and speaking lo ving words to yourself in your head or out loud - whatever you're comfortable with
- When the timer is up go about the rest of your day feeling more positive and loving towards yourself
That's it.
Simple.
Although simple isn't always easy. For the first few months of practicing it I cried every time. So intense was my self loathing, I hated my face and couldn't bare looking it at myself the mirror. I couldn't see what I truly looked like, and didn't recognise the person looking back.. I thought I should look different to how I did. I was completely disconnected with my body, and super critical, eagerly picking out imperfections with a fine tooth comb. Which made me feel like crap, and made the issues worse (thanks to law of attraction). However, after a few months of doing the process some amazing things started happening, which I've written more about in my book
Now, most days, I love the way I look more than I ever thought would be possible. It's miraculous. And free. I didn't need a face lift to be beautiful. .
In one of my favourite films, Evan Almighty, Evan repeats a mantra in the mirror every day "I am successful, powerful, handsome and happy" as he gets ready in the morning before going out to conquer the world. Give yourself a few moments each morning to set yourself up to win. You deserve it. take a small portion of your morning to affirm yourself, and give yourself the best chance to have an amazing day, every day.
You are more powerful than you know, and you are more beautiful than you could ever imagine. Allow your beauty to radiate, and never apologise for loving yourself, and who you see when you look in the mirror. When we truly love ourself from the inside out we aren't arrogant or conceited, we simply know our beauty and allow it be.
My sister shared this Abraham-Hicks video with me, in which they talk about a similar process.
I read in a book about how to parent girls, that one of the most powerful things a parent can do is to smile at a girl child every time they see her. This raises her esteem so she knows she is loved unconditionally. Not just smiling at her when she does something that pleases the parent, but every single time the parent looks at her. I thought this would be a great thing to incorporate into my self love practice as I reparent my inner child (hence the parenting books), so I now try to smile at myself every time I see a reflection of me. Even if it's just a glance. Instead of grimacing or thinking how fat my face looks today, I smile. I think something affirming. And smile.
Maybe you could give it a go. Let me know how you get on.
This post was inspired by this evenings "devotion":
Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end. (NLT) ( Ecclesiastes 3:11 )
Sometimes it's hard to see the beauty in things, people, or life’s events. It's easy to be overwhelmed, stressed, and busy yet we don't take the time to see the beauty that surrounds us. He sees us as His beautiful creation. Remember that God has made us unique in His image. Look in the mirror and smile at God's beautiful creation!
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